Saturday, 5 February 2011

Syllabub of Terrors

This subject is now bubbling up through the blogosphere.  Recent comments have been made regarding toxins.  This was a careful book plug (not butt plug, as some creep mentioned on the BBC).  I've had to take some advice from Tony (Dr A.V. O'Gadro).  Tony says there are a lot of toxins about, some of them quite useful.  Many toxins are man-made, while some occur naturally in the fungi, amphibians, reptiles, snakes, fish, plant kingdoms.  Tony's not very good on biology, but I think we get the point.  Many women have found that botulism and botex have proved to be an essential item in counter-acting the effects of ageing and crows feet.  This has been a huge money spinner for the purveyors of toxins (good ones), as read by many suggestible people in the daily blah-blah (citation from Janet Street-Porter required).  Tony has suggested three toxins, because we can't have too many terrors in the syllabub.  He has suggested the lock-jaw toxin (citation required) and the nasty manmade toxins, such as some furans and dioxins.  Tony says that a lot of numbers are involved in these dioxins and furans and he doesn't trust me to get the formulae correct.  Tony is quite right; I can't work out Greek letters, umlauts, subscripts and superscripts.  This is a blog about obreption and not the intricacies of the Markovnikoff rule.  

The other item which has been suggested is football shirts.  These are truly offensive weapons and are indeed great terrors in the pester power training of the next generation.  People have become so snobby about football shirts and having to get the latest model, latest number and homed away (there is a subtext here about football players playing home and away, but there is a super injunction on this just now).  I've never worn a football shirt, let alone been given one.  I wouldn't know what to do with it.  They could be useful in decorating a scarecrow.

In support of the ending of multiculturalism, I suggest that in Britain we have teams which play in all beige outfits.  You can buy them in Primark and this will reduce everyone to the same level.  If you have played soccer at Eton and Westminster, you can continue getting your designer gear from K+C or that nice little shop in the Arcade. 

Dr Tony has made a useful suggestion that we stop all these wretched bonfire and firework nights which go on through all the multicultural festivals, such as Diwali, Visaki and Purim, and concentrate all our efforts on the extirpation of Guido Fawkes.  This is to be celebrated by a mass burning of football shirts which do not conform to the ordinances declared above. 

This has been ordained by David Cameron with the assistance of Tony Blair, Nick Clegg and Baroness Melanie, the Duchess of Rosenburg. 


  1. It's 90 years since Mr Marconi got Radio Vatican up and running. There was a mention of this by someone called David Willie on the BBC. I remember you weren't sure about intangible assets. What about a transmitter that is said to cause cancer? Where is Dr Tony's big number? Is it lots of hertz? Lots of rent-a-cars? Lots of damaged goods? Ha ha ha ha ...

    Vatican radio 'causes' cancer

  2. It seems to me (LOL) that you've been listening to Miss Planck and Mr Schroedinger's pussy.