The birds were very noisy this morning and I woke to a sound of "Achtung! Camp Comindant! Stalag and the jamming of the BBC renegades. I thought the previous blog had come to pass, but in fact it was only BBC Radio 7 and an episode of "Round the Horne". It was of course Chou en Ginsberg as played by Kenneth Williams with a script probably written by Barry Took and Marty Feldman dating from 1965.
In my outline of the BBC, I did mention the Radio 7 channel which recycles stuff from the archive. On switching back to the flagship Today programme, John Humphrys and Sarah Posh were both giving the government a good kicking.
Fresh from his appeasement in Munich, David Cameron cruelly slagged off Gordon Brown and his government for freeing Susan Carter from a Scottish prison. This is causing havoc with the Procurator Fiscal . In about half an hour of listening, the BBC kicked to death "the Big Society", muscular liberalism and free schools.
Clearly, the schools budget has a dose of Doctor Tony's Magic Accounting. Mr Gove is spending his way through £ 50 million on free schools with a budget which is increased by an order of magnitude.
Mr Cameron is introducing draconian powers to combat anti-social behaviour. The ASBO (the O stands for obreption) is being replaced by two other bits of alphabet soup, one sounds rather nasty. Nasty little officials dressed in beige are coming to confiscate mobile phones, iPods, iPads and anything else which Mr Cameron decides. This is muscular liberalism at work.
Unlike the Huffington Post, we are selective in the drivel we publish. It's so selective that the Swedish Academy of Truth is investigating Dr Tony's past research data. His film production of the Production of Bromine has been described as "earth shattering". We are also pleased to announce that a well-known fallen idol to the north of Salt Lake City is going to be reporting on aspects of civil religion throughout the 48 continguous states in the USA. The code name for this is Deep Throat and his predictions regarding the next Archbishop of Cape Town, Buenos Aires, Westminster and Canterbury will doubtless prove a 100% accurate, if not more. They're just like his betting tips at the horses. We are also pleased to have a discussion on spot fixing in 21st century cricket to be presented by the cricket teams of Pakistan, South Africa, Caiman Islands. The filming of this investigation:
-Cries of "no ball!"
"I am honest!"
"It was the News of the World!"
"I need the money!"
"Spot fixing has always been part of cricket. It was you Britishers who taught us how to cheat!"
"We learned it from old Etonians!"
"Take them away!"
The European Commission has kindly agreed to sponsor the Obreption Regius Chair at the University of Barking. Ideas for the inaugural lecture can be submitted in the usual way.